When “New Year, New You” Already Feels Exhausting
Why January Feels So Heavy for So Many People
By the first week of January, many people are already tired. In Canada, nearly 1 in 5 adults experiences a mental health concern in any given month, and rates of depression and distress tend to peak during the winter months.
The holidays end, routines restart, inboxes fill up, and suddenly there’s pressure to optimize everything: your body, your habits, your productivity, your mindset. New goals. New standards. New expectations.
At first, you get that wave of motivation. And then you hit the wall. You feel flat. Overwhelmed. And you start acting in quiet rebellion (hello, where’s the ice cream?!).
If that’s you, nothing has gone wrong.
This isn’t a lack of discipline or follow-through. It’s what happens when goals are made outside the context of who you actually are: your capacity, your history, your stress load, your nervous system.
The Problem Isn’t Motivation. It’s Overload
January is often framed as a fresh start. But for many people, it’s actually a stacking of demands:
Returning to work after emotional or social depletion
Financial stress after the holidays
Less daylight, colder weather, fewer sources of pleasure
Internal pressure to “do this year better than the last one”
When your system is already carrying stress, adding more expectations (even positive ones) can tip you into shutdown, avoidance, or self-criticism.
This is often mislabelled as laziness or lack of willpower.
In reality, it’s your system saying: this pace doesn’t feel safe or sustainable.
Why Resolutions So Often Backfire
Most resolutions focus on behaviour change without accounting for what drives behaviour in the first place.
They assume:
You have unlimited emotional capacity
Your inner critic is motivating
More pressure will produce better results
But when change is driven by self-judgment (“I should be better by now”), the nervous system responds with resistance not progress.
That’s why so many people abandon resolutions quickly and then turn that failure inward:
“I always do this.”
“Why can’t I just stick to things?”
“What’s wrong with me?”
Nothing is wrong with you.
The strategy is wrong.
A Different Question to Ask This January
Instead of:
“How do I push myself harder?”
Try:
What’s actually getting in the way?
Often, what blocks change isn’t lack of information. It’s:
Fear of failure or judgment
Chronic self-criticism
Exhaustion masked as low motivation
Old beliefs about worth, productivity, or rest
A nervous system stuck in survival mode
These don’t respond to willpower.
They respond to understanding, regulation, and support.
What Real Change Looks Like (And Feels Like)
Sustainable change tends to feel:
Quieter, not forceful
Slower, but more consistent
Aligned, rather than punishing
Gentler, not shameful
It comes from learning how to work with your body instead of constantly trying to override it.
If This Is Resonating…
If you’re noticing:
You’re already struggling to meet your resolutions
You understand your patterns but can’t seem to change them
You feel stuck between wanting more and feeling overwhelmed
You’re shopping for the next app, book, program
That’s often a sign that support, not another strategy, is what’s missing.
Therapy can be a space to slow things down, make sense of what’s really going on, and rebuild change in a way that actually holds. Change that is built based on allignment and results in feeling fulfilled.
If you’d like support with this, you’re welcome to book a session.
I’m here. And January doesn’t have to be another month of forcing yourself forward.
Haley Veronyak
Registered Psychotherapist
Georgetown, ON & virtually across Ontario.
